This project was encouraged by the Deans of Berkeley Episcopal Seminary, tested with the Rev. Sandra Stayner and St. Peter's Cheshire, and funded by the Episcopal Church's United Thank Offering Seminarian Grant.
What do people really mean when they say “a Prayers of the People for use with children”? I’m never quite sure—some people only mean “short sentences,” while others seem to mean “something for two-year-olds and their nervous parents.” I think we can do better than either of these options. Below you will find five principles for constructing the Prayers of the People that are appropriate for all ages and designed with children in mind. At the end is also a set of Prayers of the People for you to use.
When people say “Prayers of the People for use with children,” they typically mean “more accessible to children.” It’s true that long sentences of petitions, and responses that change with each petition and need to be read, are not fully accessible to all ages or abilities. Choosing one or more of these principles as you write your Prayers can make them more accessible. Here I have written “the congregation,” rather than just “children,” since the whole congregation should be invited to participate in the same way.
1. The congregation can participate by repeating the same response after each petition or thanksgiving. (Accessible to people who cannot read, and to those who cannot track the petitions.)
This is an ancient approach that is still in use for a reason; Form I, IV, and V all use this approach in the Book of Common Prayer. You should take care to consider what it is that you are asking people to repeat, and make sure you don’t mind children memorizing it! In my experience, the phase “Lord, have mercy” can be popular with children if we stop first to explain that mercy is something wonderful that God loves to give us. If you want to use a longer phrase than one of these ancient ones, try pairing it with a gesture (see #2 and my example, both below). In any case, you can cue the phrase by saying the first syllable of it slowly.
2. The congregation can participate by using a repeated gesture in addition to words in response to the petitions. (Accessible to those who aren’t verbally expressive or to those who are unable to track words.)
Simple gestures are best, and I like the ones that are sentimental, like holding your hands over your heart, lifting your hands up to God (like the orans position), holding your hands out like an offering, stretching your arms out like Jesus on the cross.
I have found this to be popular with a variety of ages: the adults for infants and very young toddlers enjoy helping their young ones participate; energetic children can do this while sitting or standing or running around, and they like to look at everyone else doing it too; teens can do it while barely moving and thus follow the rules while also exasperating nitpicky adults; adults can enjoy participating, helping children participate, or watching others participate.
3. The congregation can participate when the petitions or thanksgivings ask individuals to think of and name specific things, and the leader repeats them. (Accessible to people who can focus for short amounts of time; possibly more accessible to those who need to express themselves verbally often.)
This one works best with smallish crowds, and requires that the adult leading the prayers really lifts up what the child says, without revising or chuckling at it. Children notice when we don’t take them seriously.
4. In every case, the petitions for the 6 required categories* in the Book of Common Prayer can be age-appropriate and serious.
Some time spent with a skillful preschool teacher will remind us that speaking to young children does not require gimmicks or artifice. It requires clarity, brevity, and simple, concrete words. There is no need for your Prayers of the People to rhyme or be cute. Just avoid abstract nouns, complex sentences, too many prepositions, and adverbs.
5. In every case, the petitions and thanksgivings should be clearly addressed to God, rather than a list or “sharing” of concerns. This clarity is especially important for people who are learning what prayer is; if we are not clear that we are speaking to God, children may not notice.
I wrote of version of this for the first outdoor services in the pandemic at Our Redeemer in Lexington. This is a congregation that cares about access, and really cares about the participation of every person regardless of age or ability. I was still new, so when I explained that we would be responding with gestures, and that everyone should do the gestures, I didn’t really expect that every single adult would also do the gestures. But they did! If you are in a church where adults are hesitant, embarrassed, or judgmental, this might not work as well, or might require more convincing.
First, I introduced how we would say and do the prayer, and we practiced the phrase and gesture a couple times, for example: “I will say a specific prayer, and then we will all will say ‘We hold them in our hearts [place hands over your heart, and we lift them up to you, God [lift your hands up in the air],’ with these gestures.”
Now, let’s pray.
Holy God, we thank you for our time together today: for all the households gathered here, and those gathered elsewhere. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for our friends and family who are working or at home: our brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for Christians everywhere, and for all people who try to follow you. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for everyone who is sick, especially people sick with covid-19. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for everyone who cares for sick people, in hospitals, clinics, nursing homes, and the street. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for all the scientists who are working hard to understand this virus, and for those working to share this knowledge and to teach us. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for those especially on our hearts and minds in this parish: [parish prayer list] Make your presence known to them, Lord. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for all who have died, especially those close to us: [parish prayer list]. Hold them close to you, Lord. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for people in our neighborhood, our country, and around the world--for everyone who needs help, for everyone who is hungry. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for the leaders and future leaders of our country--send us leaders with a heart for goodness and truth. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
God, we pray for all of these things, and for everything we are thinking and feeling but haven’t said out loud. We hold them in our hearts, and we lift them up to you, God.
* See page 383 in the Book of Common Prayer (1979): The Universal Church, its members, and its mission; The Nation and all in authority; The welfare of the world; The concerns of the local community; Those who suffer and those in any trouble; The departed (with commemoration of a saint when appropriate).